Hi guys! I’m going to get a little personal and vulnerable with this post. Recently, I have been chatting with Christie (the founder of Your Smiling Hygienist) and was so inspired after reading her “Not So Smiley Story”. It really made me reflect on how much I endured on my road to be where I am at today. My life on Instagram may look all smiles and happy now, but I can assure you that just a few years ago, it could not be more opposite. I wanted to share my story in hopes of inspiring other women to not let your failures define you or throw your dreams off track. I got pregnant with my son right after graduating high school. This was a very difficult time as I still felt like a child myself. I had not had any plans for my future yet here I was bringing a child into the world. I dragged my three-month-old son to the local technical college where I signed up for an overpriced dental assisting night program. When I say I picked dental assisting on a whim, people are surprised. I just knew that I always enjoyed being in a dental office and that the profession aligned with being able to help others. Things did not work out with my son’s father like they rarely do as a teenager and I moved back home to be with my family. This was not a proud time in my life because I began staying out every weekend and partying all night long. I was not the mom I should have been, and I still struggle with feeling like I am not a good mom even now. Once I got out of my partying all night phase I began going to the gym regularly. This is where I met someone who completely turned my life upside down. This guy swept me off my feet and told me everything that I wanted to hear. He was so romantic all of the time and I really felt like I found my perfect match. He proposed to me within 3 months of knowing each other and I was ECSTATIC. Everyone that loved me was very concerned and thought we were moving too fast, but the wedding planning began anyways. In the middle of our engagement, things took quite a few ugly turns. He would cheat on me, I would be angry for a few days but eventually forgive him and take him back. I wanted this love story and wedding SO badly that the young, naïve me thought he would change. The verbal abuse started long before the physical abuse, but my brain twisted it into, “he Is just doing this because he loves me.” He told me that no would ever love me like he did. He didn’t allow me to dress a certain way or go out with my friends because “a wife should act a certain way.” My entire life felt under his control and I don’t think I have ever felt more miserable and trapped as I did during this time. I found out after we got married that he was actually a convicted felon for hiring a hit on his ex-girlfriend. Talk about mind blown. Due to his prior record, he was not able to find solid work anywhere and we chose to open a gym together. I spent an entire summer putting my ALL into this business as well as the years to follow. Owning a business is a lot of stress and nothing like I thought it would be. The verbal abuse got much worse during this time and in some ways, I believe it was worse than the physical. The mental scars have lasted much longer. When I chose to skip the gym, he would tell me that I was getting fat. He would show me pictures of more fit women and tell me that he wished I looked like them. Day after day, I took this mental beatdown. I know you are expecting this story of me being a total badass and leaving him. Well, I didn’t. One day after work I came home, and my house was completely empty. He took everything that we owned together and moved in with a mutual friend that he had been having an affair with. I call the following time my “dark days”. These were days that I didn’t want to live or even get out of bed. The cloud of depression was so heavy during this time. I felt like I had lost everything; someone that was supposed to love me forever and a business that I put so much time into. I made the exact same mistake by falling for his prototype only a few months after. I wanted to do anything to fill that void and I thought being in love again would do it. Can you believe that this guy did the exact same thing? Here I am, this pathetic hopeless romantic that allowed myself to be gas lighted and disrespected once again. This guy was much smoother and better at lying than the one before. And Yep, he left me for someone else as well! Honestly, at this point I wanted to give up on life and love completely. Instead-I told myself that I was going to start living for ME and making myself happy. I stopped looking to others to define my happiness. I enrolled in pre-reqs for dental hygiene by using Christmas money from my family (I didn’t know about financial aid at this time.) I was so broke that I don’t even think I could buy groceries that week, but I didn’t care. I had attempted to go back to school THREE times in the 5 years before I actually did it. There was never a good time and always an excuse. Once I started living for me, I felt empowered and knew that I had gained so much strength from my past experiences. I convinced myself that I deserved so much more than what I had been getting and that I would never settle for less again. Now, I am married to the greatest man on the planet. He lifts me up and supports me in every aspect of life. I truly believe that we were put on this planet for each other. I have never felt more loved and at peace. I have chosen to forgive those that wronged me in my past (although this has taken years) and choose compassion instead of bitterness. I say all of this in hopes to inspire at least one person. You do not have to stay in that awful relationship, and you will find love again. Chose to smile even after all you have been through and turn your pain into something amazing! Make sure you check out Your Smiling Hygienist here . I absolutely love how inspiring she is!! -Callie
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